Well...This is all new to me. In highschool I tried to have a Xanga, but it was worthless and more of a "keeping my friends up to date with what's going on". And who knows, that is what this might turn into.
To begin with, you have to know that I fell off the path to God about 3 years ago. I do sometimes pray, but usually only when something bad happens, or when I need some comfort. I don't nurish my relationship, and I have become a "holiday" church goer. I find this to be completely embarrassing. I don't know what happened. This is hard for me to talk about because I just feel so guilty turning my back on God, and for what? Because I am too lazy to get up in the morning and too lazy to take the time out of my day to talk to the most wonderful person in the world. I suppose an excuse would be that I don't have any support in that department up here. No bible study, mainly because the first group I met up here were church goers, but only when they went home. So we would sleep in and have fun. I wasn't reckless, but I didn't do anything church like or christian like at all.
As of lately, I find myself feeling lost. Looking back over at least the last couple of months, I find that I have become more of an angry person instead of a compassionate and understanding person. I don't know what happened, or what changed. The only thing that I find that is different in my life is the fact that I have no relationship with God or Christ.
I don't know where to start. I feel like I am starting over. Except now....there is no Young Life or Bible Study, or church class to go to. I am scared and don't know where to go from here.
2 comments:
i am so glad you are being honest about this. It is hard to admit, but it is not suprising that you feel angry and unsetteled without him. BUT< please know that it is not too late...its NEVER too late to reunite with Him. He is just sitting there waiting for you...I would love to talk and pray for you! Email me if you want! Miss
schaefer_m@nsatel.net
I'm so glad to have read this. Remember the story of the prodigal son? He didn't think he needed his father. He arrogantly took off and we know what a mess he made of his life. The beautiful part of the story is the way the father welcomed his wayward son back. Upon seeing his son in the distance, he took off running to meet him. That wasn't even perfect love - it was human love. Imagine how much more God loves us!!!
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