Is slump a word? anyhow. First let me start off by telling you how GREAT my ¨outside¨ life is going. I have a full time job that I love and am not even graduated yet, my love life is wonderful, I get to see great people tomorrow, and I am going on a trip to Milwaukee on Friday. My inside life isn´t nearly as great. Lately I have been trying to lose weight, granted the whole exercise and motivation to eat right isn´t happening a whole lot, but I have lost 10lbs in the past...maybe 3 or 4 months, who knows. Anyhow, I have had NUMEROUS people including my bosses tell me how much it looks like I have lost weight. Each day is a huge struggle for me with this since I have put on about 30lbs in 4 years. I know that isn´t a whole lot, but it has caused me to go up in pants size from 8 to 14. I know growing up people tend to gain weight, but I want to be healthy and not hate exercising and not have to worry about everything that I put into my body showing up on my hips or belly.
Yesterday I bought a swim suit. BRAVE for me considering I must be at least losing boob weight cause the top to my old suit is a little big, but my favorite suit from senior year doesn´t fit yet so I had to venture out to spend more money, that I should be putting onto credit cards, just so I have something to wear this summer AND this weekend. Another inside issue is that for the past few days I have been really down inside, not so sure how it is showing outside, but inside it hurts. I am unsure of what hurts and why it hurts, but I hurt. I am lonely and when I get lonely I think of the past and about things I am missing being up in Duluth and then I regret coming here or staying here. My sister is planning a wedding, my friends are falling in love, being married, raising a baby, and my neighbor kids are shooting up like corn on a nice summer day!
I have friends in Duluth, but being who I always am, have an issue with actually bonding with people in the deep ¨i need a hug¨ sense. I just wish that Duluth and Isanti were next to each other...maybe life would be less sad.
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