On Friday, my cousin Willa lost her husband in a car accident. They had been married probably about 4 years if I am counting correctly, maybe 5. In 1995, my Aunt Micky (Willa's mother) passed away from a brain aneurysm. My Uncle Mike passed away from cancer in 2004. The heart ache that Willa (along with her sister Katya) has been through prior to Friday was enough to boggle a person's mind. I cannot fathom losing both my parents by the time I was 20, and then to lose your husband instantly in a car accident.
I did not sleep last night for more than 3-4 hours. Maybe it is the daylight savings time, but really I doubt it. I dreamed about different friends of mine losing their husbands. I dreamed of losing my husband. I woke up so many times just to reach across our giant king sized bed to find him. To make sure he was still there sleeping next to me. I can't even imagine where I would begin to live my life without my husband. He is my rock, my everything and without him I would be lost. My heart breaks thinking of what my cousin is going through and I can't find the words that I wish to give her for comfort because there isn't any comfort to be given. Her husband has been ripped out of her life and will never return home. How do you comfort that thought? How do you make someone okay with losing their husband? I know she is strong - I've seen her move on from losing both parents - but now? How does she move on when everyone she loves is gone? I thank God that she has Katya to be there with her. Sisters that have lost so much can be the only ones who can console each other. Prayers for both of them are a constant right now.
I thought I would feel better after posting about my thoughts, that my mind would be clear, but it isn't. Nothing but time will help.
1 comment:
Oh Kristen, this breaks my heart! I'm so sorry for your loss, and for your cousin's loss...some things are just so hard to understand. I will pray for Willa tonight. Thanks for sharing your heart.
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