Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Trouble
I am having a really hard time with my job right now. My stress level is high with work, school and my social life. The behaviors I am faced with are about depression and hallucinating, memory loss and not understanding why certain things are done the way they are, and lastly attention issues. The hallucination deals with seeing the devil and the depression deals with wanting to die. The worst part is that I don't know how to help her and there doesn't seem to be any way to redirect her elsewhere. I try telling her that I will protect her and that God will protect her. We try praying or redirection to different activities. Nothing seems to work. It is frightening to her and me and it hurts my heart so much. I have had this job since November and I am unsure how I can emotionally continue and deal with this on an everyday basis. I fear and fell that I am not strong enough to continue down this path for this job and any jobs after. I am afraid that I am not strong enough for the career path that I have put so much time, energy, and money into.
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2 comments:
I had a client once (I still see him) who, well, we'll just say really messed up, horrible family situation....yadda, yadda. He's crazy, and I love em', but you just got to do the job. It took me a while to learn this, but it's what you do after a while. You go to work, be a positive, firm, caring person in their life and then you go home! Pray for her, help her there, but don't take on her burdens, pray for her. It is sad, really sad, but you can't take her mental illness upon yourself. God does throught medication, people like you and some ups and downs. It will take a long time for this woman to get to a good place, or, you learn to deal with how she is now, and just be there for her. Don't put your whole heart in to just her, and that you fail her if she does not get better. Because sometimes they don't. And yes, it is really sad, but we're not God and we don't know why he does the things he does, but it's for a reason. Maybe it's even to teach you something about her, her illness, or life. Treasure what you have, and pray for her. Trust me, as soon as you realize you can't help them all, you'll feel better when you give it to God.
Hi!
I'm sorry I haven't read your blog for awhile somehow I lost its link and I had to go back thru Melissa's to find you.
I read thru your blog to catch up. You mention stress a lot - which concerns me. Obviously it does you too.
I'm not sure if you are looking for advise or just needing to vent. I'd love to get together but it would be hard for me to write all my thoughts.
I love you and will be praying for you.
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